@Thaat_guy: I retweeted my boss to let her know that I know she's tweeting during the meeting.
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@jakob_huber: Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
@SoLongStephen: First line in frozen pizza instructions: DO NOT EAT FROZEN PIZZA W/OUT COOKING. It's almost like they know I'm the target demographic.
@ibid78: "Your résume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."
@desiswaaag: HOW I DRESS FOR UNIVERSITY First day of the week: brad pitt Last day of the week: homeless druggie