@Thaat_guy: I retweeted my boss to let her know that I know she's tweeting during the meeting.
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@vapidaccount: ProTip: Make sure heated seats are off before putting your purse on them...lipstick melts.
@BlindChow: GOD: did u eat from the tree of knowledge? ADAM: no…it was my girlfriend GOD: who? ADAM: u don't know her she goes to a different school
@Howiesbookclub: Blood oranges at the farmer's market. What am I, The Lord of War? Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else.
@paulhorne: I was just adoringly watching my dog sleep and he woke up and caught me and now he thinks I'm some stalker weirdo.