@Thaat_guy: I retweeted my boss to let her know that I know she's tweeting during the meeting.
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@Rollmaninoz: *Godzilla smashing Tokyo & eating people. After destroying an asylum he suddenly dies* 60s cop1: what happened 60s cop2: haha nut allergy
@FrenulumBreve: [homocide scene] DETECTIVE:"my god, in my 25 years on the force i've never seen a dead ghost." COP:"sir?, we covered the body with a sheet."
@squirrel74wkgn: [tearing off our clothes] Her: I want you. Take off your shoes. *kicks flip-flop through her TV*
@AbbyHasIssues: I was having a good weekend until my plans got cancelled. Now I'm having a great weekend.