@Donna_McCoy: I reward people who go looking for dust in my house with the satisfaction of finding some.
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@juliussharpe: With all the conflicts in the world, the board game Risk has taught me the first thing we should do is invade Australia.
@weinerdog4life: How to make friends: Put your clothes on backwards so people don't notice you walking up to them.
@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.