@vineyille: I run up to the firefighter as he drags another charred body out of my burning home. “Did you see a zip disk labeled POEMS in there?”
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@AbbyHasIssues: I would like to think money won’t change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil.
@XplodingUnicorn: [5-year-old and 3-year-old scream at each other] Me: Is that how your mom and I settle arguments? 5: You want me to sleep on the couch?
@Poutymcgee: See a penny pick it up... All day long you'll have.... A nagging feeling that the previous owner wasn't a "hand washer".