@trumpetcake: I said "Candyman" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sfreeze6: [on deathbed - calls for son] ".....if you highlight the shit out of a document, people will think you read it....."
@Mr_Kapowski: - Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?
@heatherlou_: I almost confused a laxative and Ibuprofen and that would have changed my plans for the evening significantly