@freebirdy31: I said I was sorry three times looking in the mirror and now I'm in Canada
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@OfficeofSteve: I don't know why Squirrels are hiding their disgusting acorns when literally no one else eats them
@joeyfullystated: Stranger man at the beach asked me, "Y'all got a boat?" I said we have three, but they're old Fisher-Price models. It took him a moment.
@thatdutchperson: Being a Zombie doesn't sound that bad. You don't have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
@VancityReynolds: The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone's living room sends a pretty damn clear message too.