@shawn_spree: I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school.
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@manwhohasitall: Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'.
@thenatewolf: Salesman: first time buying a motorcycle? Me: that obvious? Salesman: nobody asks "how loud is the vroom?" they ask "what's the vroomage?"
@OtherDanOBrien: ME: (signing) What color are apples? BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors