@shawn_spree: I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school.
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@Steelers1972: If zombies ever attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership
@flashember: [writing last will and testament] and to Oliver i leave my "Why I Taught Bears To Use Swords" memoir BEAR: [from outside] FIGHT ME U COWARD
@hadafewbeers: Whenever someone says "I don't have a horse in that race" I respond with "You don't have a horse at all, Reggie. You have a cat & diabetes."