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@KrazykurtKurt: I said "I'm not going to repeat myself"
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: How would you define yourself?
ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist
@timdonakowski: You get to sleep all day, cat, that's why I get the good food.
@MadGamer79: It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.
@Calliejacobson: Boss: Why are you late?
Me: Why are you so obsessed with me?
@thetits: [just meeting a new group of people]
My brain: say something cool and different
Me: HOW YA'LL GOT??