@faizziy: I save a lot of money on all my tooth extractions by engaging in street fights..
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@evanrhorne: I quit my job today!! The money from that Nigerian king arrives tomorrow, I'm so excited.
@PartyBitchKayla: advice to my younger self: dont bang that old man on his helicopter he’s not joe biden
@sofarrsogud: FRIEND. My daughter just hates her job ME: My dogter loves hers F: You mean dau.. ME: *shows her a pic of a puppy in scrubs* She's a dogtor