@isaidwhat_: I saved a ton of money by eating all my groceries before getting to the register.
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@roxiqt: If you message me back on a dating app, I assume you are just being polite. If we go out for coffee together, again, I assume you are just being polite. If we end up dating, you're probably just a very polite person. If we get married, it was probably just the polite thing to do.
@Kali_Mura: I'm beginning to suspect that my boyfriend is not really a ninja & that he moved out nine month ago.
@EndhooS: I invited Alan over for dinner. "Alan Jacobs? Or Alan who thinks he's Captain America?" *a badly painted bin lid smashes through the window*