@Douchekevin: I saw 300 lbs crammed into a pair of small yoga pants so now I understand how the Tardis on Dr. Who is real.
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@ElgatoEsmio: Mom said angels are watching over me I'm just afraid they're taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
@Smug_Lemur: *at psychic reading* Psychic: you probably think you're wasting your time Me: Ooh you're good
@bananafitz: ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN: -Little Black Dress -Cute flats -Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn.
@krisv_723: Oh, you asked if I had a perfect BEACH body. Now I see why you were confused when I said "Yes, I'm round, ripe & covered in fuzz."