@Douchekevin: I saw 300 lbs crammed into a pair of small yoga pants so now I understand how the Tardis on Dr. Who is real.
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@Kendragarden: I said "Margarita" 3 times in the mirror instead of "Bloody Mary" and now a ghost mariachi band is forcing me to play maracas for them.
@Mister_Veritas: ME: Hey buddy, your dog left a little 'present' on my lawn GUY: Huh? ME: *points to tiny, nicely wrapped gift* Thank him for me, willya?
@AnOrangeSNES: Amazon review: Amazon river ⭐☆☆☆☆ DO NOT GO HERE! Everything tries to kill you, plus they don't even have free shipping.
@juneohara65: The conditions inside my car have drawn attention from my boyfriend, my mother, and the Center for Disease Control.