@realHamOnWry: I saw a bear squat, take a dump then just walk away. So I'm calling bullshit on those Charmin bears.
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@UncleDuke1969: "I'm not angry, just disappointed. You need to try harder. This is important! Do I make myself clear?" "Sorry, sir. Here's your ketchup."
@brittwastaken: I see you from across the room and falter. My breath catches as my pupils dilate with desire. You, a muffin, remain motionless.
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle.