@donquixote229: I saw a car with a flat tire so I offered to help. She tells me to hurry cause she has a hair appoinment..This is how serial killers r born
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@2tickytacky: He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them.
@KalvinMacleod: [school] TEACHER: how was your summer? STUDENT: great, I grew a foot TEACHER: that’s cool, can I see it?
@lemonmartinis: Dude that's not a tire swing its a warning to other tires that trespass in my yard
@Dutch_50: Co-worker insists on talking with his mouth full. No one can ever understand him. Wish we had a dentist was in the house to interpret.