@FattMernandez: I saw a car with "Wash Me" written on it, so I set it on fire. I'll be damned if I'm going to allow cars to become sentient!
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@Buncahn: [boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount
@joeljeffrey: I hate when you get hit by a car while walking down the street and texting and no one is in the car and it's parked on the side of the road.