@SonOfCha: I saw a commercial on Animal Planet where animals were talking & that's all well & good but they totally got the giraffe's accent wrong.
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@DirtMcTurd: when someone pisses you off start counting down from 10. When you get to 8 punch them in the throat, they will never expect it.
@cosminaut: I'm pretty big on body art *pulls up sleeve to reveal tattoo of a hoof with "Hoof-arted" written underneath*
@PJTLynch: Alfred: About your girlfriend Catwoman... Batman: Yes, she's a thief, but- A: No, she pooped on the rug again. Right next to the litter box!