@SonOfCha: I saw a commercial on Animal Planet where animals were talking & that's all well & good but they totally got the giraffe's accent wrong.
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@kumailn: My favorite romantic comedy sub-genre is "Hugh Grant falls in love with someone for no reason."
@70Ceeks: SOMEBODY: she had a boyfriend who looked like that girlfriend that you had in february of last year ME: what the hell are you talking about
@jmhuntsinger: Judging by the quality of some of your tweets I can tell this isn't the first time you've failed in life.
@thebeavs: When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety.