@JKNenagh: I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars Me: That’d wreck the economy 5: I just- Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation
@Tmoney68: Normal things that become creepy when you look both ways before doing them: Pick up a kid Unlock a door Load a rolled rug into your trunk
@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.