@Reverend_Scott: I saw a guy with antlers on his car, so I shot it.
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@BarebakAssassin: Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public.
@Tmoney68: [Courtroom] Judge: One more word & I'll hold you in contempt! Me: Yes! *jumps on his lap & throws arms around him* This is nice.
@LeonEarlgrey: Hey girl are you my golf clubs? Because I tottaly forgot to take you out of my trunk.
@YWIR: Keep your friends close, your enemies close, aliens not so close, ghosts close, snakes close, skeletons close, everything just in a big pile