@avaricious1: I saw a spider in my bedroom so I did what any man would do... I got in an argument with my wife so I could sleep on the couch.
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@Thynebear: If cops used t-shirt guns instead of handguns they wouldn't even need to tell criminals to put their hands up.
@daemonic3: Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. YES MY CHILD Great! Amway is the largest multi-level marketing company worldwide. Our products range
@SortaBad: [karate tournament] coach: Billy sweep the leg! me in the crowd: haha hey billy vacuum his head! *Billy just wails opponent with a Dyson*