@avaricious1: I saw a spider in my bedroom so I did what any man would do... I got in an argument with my wife so I could sleep on the couch.
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@velweb: 12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?
@OfficeofSteve: Moving is a lot more fun when you make the Movers carry you on top of the mattress like an Egyptian pharaoh
@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich