@Jake_Vig: I saw a woman really screaming at her kids in public this morning, but in her defense, the kids were ugly.
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@TuSoonShakur: [At the Amnesty International Open Summit] "OK, let's put it to a vote, what rights should humans be entitled to?" Kim Jong-un: "No rights." Raúl Castro: "Some rights." Matthew McConaughey: "All rights, all rights, all rights."
@MouVanLee: Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend.
@GrantTanaka: [standing in bushes with binoculars watching neighbor who is also in bushes watching me though binoculars]