@jtswhipped: I saw a woman with a lower back tattoo that said "Classy" and my brain leaked out of my ear.
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@wildethingy: Could a murderer do THIS? *lawyer points to defendant doing cool tap dance* I remind the jury that only guilty feet have got no rhythm.
@wequiwa: If I wanted a more difficult pet I would choose a bird over a baby any day. At least it's acceptable to day drink with your parrot.
@WarrenHolstein: If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour.