@jtswhipped: I saw a woman with a lower back tattoo that said "Classy" and my brain leaked out of my ear.
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@CloydRivers: Hey ladies, No Shave November ain't for you. Just saw some gal lookin' like she was tryin' to smuggle a cactus in her yoga pants. Merica.
@jwoodham: DUMBLEDORE: Say hello to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Totally-Not-Working-For-Voldemort. SNAPE: Dude, seriously?
@thenatewolf: "You do realize it's a crime to lie in court, right?" *I think for a moment and then move my hands closer together*
@kumailn: The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web.