@Paxochka: I saw a zombie wearing Crocs on The Walking Dead and thought to myself "she totally deserved to die".
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@mewritesgood: You say "potato", I say "This isn't working. I think we are unhealthy together and you scare the shit out of me. Keep the cat. He hates me."
@bigmacher: When my wife sends me to the grocery store solo with a specific list I am not allowed to improvise. That was made clear when I got home.
@astutenewf: I wonder if when my dog follows me into the bathroom it's cause I follow him outside when he goes and he thinks that's how it works. Meh.