@Paxochka: I saw a zombie wearing Crocs on The Walking Dead and thought to myself "she totally deserved to die".
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@TheTweetOfGod: My advice for anyone who wants more followers is simple: Form them from dust and breathe into their nostrils. #workedforMe
@Parentpains: Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic.
@mjkspeaks: [interview] THEM: what would you say if i gave you money from the register and told you to keep it? ME: thank you.
@tastefactory: I've been chasing a fly around my apartment for like 20 mins with a rolled up magazine. There's a really good article I think he should see