@thenatewolf: I saw an old couple sharing a newspaper and was like "oh wow maybe marriage is cool" and then the lady said "STOP BREATHING ON ME"
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@samalmightysam: Most populated places in the world: 1. China 2. India 3. United States 4. Indonesia 5. Friend Zone 6. Hell
@bytaylorcox: A "lady" and a "woman" are exactly the same thing unless they are prefaced with cat.