@meganamram: I saw Kony kissing Santa Claus
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@Dis0beyJay: *First Date* Friend: Women like a little rebellion in a guy Me:Ok *Later* Her: So, tell me about your day? Me: I don't have to tell you shit
@BlindChow: (1:35pm) God: Yo Abraham (1:37pm) Abe: sup (1:38pm) God: Need u to kill ur son (1:42pm) Abe: k (4:02pm) God: jk lol (4:10pm) God: u there?
@PressOneForNo: I really hope my 2 year old daughter is this difficult to get into bed when she's 18