@leechee420: I saw my friend's kids at Walmart and they told me they were lost and I was like "good luck guys" and walked away. I'd be a great mother.
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@recoveringbapti: The word "Diputseromneve" may look ridiculous, but backward it's even more stupid...
@kirthyiyer: The location of a pimple on your body is directly correlated to how much your body hates you.
@Vodkantots: Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year.
@SortaBad: Superman: I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive- Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown