@mishakey: I SAW ON THE NEWS THAT SOME GUY IN ANOTHER STATE DIED ARE YOU OKAY - my mom
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@RandomManik: Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love.
@DaddyJew: Librarian: can I check you out? Me: sure [spins around] Librarian: I meant your book Me: oh yea, that makes way more sense
@NewDadNotes: Cop: I'll ask you one last time did you or did you not see the stop sign back there? Ace of Base: *starts sweating*
@Robinbuble: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a guy, on the side of the highway reciting the alphabet backwards and trying to walk a straight line.