@TYLER_CMC: I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces down by the pond today
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@pharmasean: “Say ur a bad girl” I’m a bad girl “oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do…” ooh i’m gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice
@Overdue_Bills: "Dude, this is so awesome, I can use my $300 smart phone as a flashlight". - Why we'll be speaking Chinese in 50 years.
@Marlebean: [ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! "Toilet paper?!"