@CoopSoSarc: I saw this lady vogueing alone so I felt bad and started dancing with her. Anyone know sign language for 'Im sorry'?
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@Jake_Vig: [visit to zoo] See kids? All these animals have to live here in cages because they woke daddy up early one time.
@daemonic3: I'm a: ⚪man ⚪woman 🔘cowboy On a: ⚪skateboard ⚪carpet 🔘steel horse I: ⚪shred ⚪fly 🔘ride I'm wanted (wanted): 🔘dead 🔘alive
@Home_Halfway: "My wife and I decided we don't want to have kids." "But...don't you already have 2?" "Yeah."
@BonaFideIntent: Daily 'Facts About CHEESE' Fact About Cheese #3: "String Cheese. Is not made of string."