@ambienbabe: I say "fight me" a lot for a girl that's 5'2" and has a tough time opening some doors because they're too heavy.
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@spekulation: My phone corrects "haha" to "hahaha", so all my friends think they're 50% funnier than they actually are.
@mattgallo123: This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions.
@Brianhopecomedy: I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed.