@PercySleeves: I scaled Everest! And I give nicknames to fish.
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@NurseMurderer: This earthquake was the first time that I've ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
@_SingleBabyMama: My 2yr old tells people that grandma goes to a booty shop. My mom asks that I help her say beauty correctly, but this way is much more fun.
@FuckabillyRex: *skateboarding at 16 I don't care about girls, I'm skating. *skateboarding at 43 I should have had more sex when I was 16.