@gavinpivott: I scratch your back, you scratch mine. We die from loss of blood.
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@mayamanion: Ok parents who have really clean houses, do you have outdoor pets and outdoor kids? How does this work?
@ArfMeasures: [prehistoric times] MUM: When you get married, your husband will be the hunter DAUGHTER: So I gather
@runninforwine: Mom said I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. So I became sarcastic.
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Why does it take you forever to text me back? *3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about?