@weinerdog4life: I scream, you scream, my puppet screams, my other puppet screams, the waiter screams, this is the worst first date ever
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@Sickayduh: Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them "Jesus is the reason for the seizin"
@3sunzzz: The advantage in having a lot of children is that statistically speaking, you're bound to like at least one of them.
@Skoogeth: satan: [pulling me aside] hey we’ve had some complaints me: about the laughing? satan yeah [scratching horns] i gotta be honest a lot of the demons are creeped out me: satan: you really shouldn’t be enjoying the torture this much