@longwall26: I scream. You scream. We all scream. We're being chased by bears. Life is a nightmare.
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@GoldenSpirals: Ask a man if he's critiquing your work... Men Who Are Dating say: No, & compliment you. Single Men say: Yes Married Men: Try to hide
@OneFunnyMummy: My kids have enough energy to run 10,000 laps around the house but get tired walking around the block. I call bullshit.
@WickedRapunzel: Customer: Can someone else serve us? Me:? C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos. M: Satan wants their tiny souls.
@lisaxy424: Hot chick without makeup: her beauty is so effortless & carefree Me without makeup: why is that very sick grandma not in a home