@longwall26: I scream. You scream. We all scream. We're being chased by bears. Life is a nightmare.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Talking to a giant banana] "Is that a human being in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
@mattgallo123: Not to brag, but according to this food packaging I just ate enough fancy cashews to serve 638 people.
@chrissyteigen: I really really really really clearly am not a PC type of gal but I'm a little weirded out at the oriental dressing option on my flight