@weinerdog4life: I scream, you scream, we all scream, while I'm crawling under the bathroom stall to say hi to you.
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@CVTBaby: I don't ALWAYS post filthy tweets, but when I do, it is right after I'm followed by someone with "my Lord and Savior" in their bio.
@SatansTongue: *Filling out application* Sex: "no thanks" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex.
@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.