@weinerdog4life: I scream, you scream, we all scream, while I'm crawling under the bathroom stall to say hi to you.
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@thatUPSdude: Turns out police dislike it when you slip out of your handcuffs. Even if you do say "ABRACADABRA" when you do it.
@MartaEffing: Turns out you have to *tell* a guy you're going out, otherwise you just end up standing on his doorstep wondering why he's in his sweats.