@stockejock: I scream,
We all scream
Because grandpa fell asleep at the wheel again.
@SuSuSuDonym: If Paula Deen's new cookbook isn't titled 'Fifty Shades of Gravy', I'm going to lose a considerable amount of money on the bet I just made.
@dril: if youre a healthy young male or female with blood type O, please consider donating a kidney to me. my goal is 22 kidney 's
@Dis0beyJay: [ First Date ]
Her: So you're a MMA fighter?
* flashback to me kickboxing a mannequin at Nordstrom's *
Me: Yea, I'm still training
@KatieBurnett: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy
@lazerdoov: 40% of North American teens can't even find ISIS on a map. Talk about ignorant