@stockejock: I scream,
We all scream
Because grandpa fell asleep at the wheel again.
@PaulyPeligroso: She said she liked it doggystyle, so I sniffed her butt then peed on the carpet
@AmberTozer: The government is dysfunctional and needs to be fixed I'll probably fall in love with it any minute
@LinajkReturns: If he's hot on your heels, dump him.
You do not want a man who looks better in your shoes than you do.
@chrislockefun: Clark Kent: Only kryptonite can kill me.
Perry: What do you mean? Can't regular things kill you?
Clark: Oh shit. Which guy am I right now!?
@timdonakowski: Want the secret to success?
Want 2x the energy without having to diet?
Want to add 20 years to your life?
Want less shoulder hair?