@LnL245: I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car
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@77StephanieG77: I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage.... So now I know why zombies walk like they do.
@GrantTanaka: [writes THIS IS A ROBBERY on a deposit slip, slides it to teller] [teller writes something, slides it back] NO THIS IS A DEPOSIT SLIP
@elle91: Got fired from the duty free store for never showing up which is very misleading and also bullshit.