@TheTweetOfGod: I see dead people.
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@Breadery: Remember when you were small & all you wanted was a pony but your parents were high on meth & thought the house was already full of ponies?
@scorpiusryan21: Had a skype interview yesterday and I completely avoided the fact that I am actually a centaur
@Marlebean: They say a long, tight hug releases endorphins to make you feel calm and happy. I think the guy in front of me at this DMV would disagree.
@LuvPug: I just wished a Bride-to-be good luck on her first marriage. She didn't seem to appreciate my sincerity.