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@TheTweetOfGod: I see dead people.
@AndyAsAdjective: You probably get this a lot but...
*punches you in the face*
@GrumpyBahr: I don't think Nyquil knows what cherries taste like!
@_SetTheHook_: Nice try, self check out lanes. There's not even any mirrors.
@boymachinist: I had to buy a voodoo doll of myself and rub its back.
@abbycohenwl: Bring an urn speed dating.
Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, "I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"