@ShoutingGoddess: I see your choices and raise you one eyebrow.
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@mstern68: Please don't be curly Please don't be curly Please don't be curly I pray to myself as I pull a hair from my mouth while eating Chinese food
@close_c: You know you're a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
@canadasandra: When attempting to make a good first impression imagine how important good grammar is. Wrong. Importanter.
@yerpalmildsauce: In Heaven all your lost pets are sitting around waiting to see you again. "I wish he'd die," says Cupcake. They all nod.