@ThinkingSavage: I see your 'swagger' and raise you my full-time job. Yeah.
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@Book_Krazy: My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.
@mellimelle: In case anyone asks, we found these dead hookers while we were digging holes in the woods.
@jake_likes_naps: [in hospital] son: what happened dad me: bar fight son: over what? me: he said... *clenches fists* he said Zelda is a boy