@bazecraze: I see you're busy. I'll come back and ruin your free time.
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@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.
@VikeeysSecret: Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
@markydoodoo: I just saw a girl running without headphones and I feel I should call the police. She might be in trouble.