@bazecraze: I see you're busy. I'll come back and ruin your free time.
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@Reverend_Scott: Ways to tell a woman's mad at you: 1. She's silent. 2. She's yelling. 3. She acts the same. 4. She acts different. 5. She murdered you.
@david8hughes: [1st day as lifeguard] Guy: there's someone drowning in the water Me [not looking up from phone]: well it'd be hard to drown in the sand