@Elizasoul80: "I see you've been eating whatever you want and not exercising." -Clothes
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@kchees: All the single ladies put your hands up! *handcuffs all the single ladies together and pushes them off a cliff* I'm your only option now.
@ConcernedSirGuy: Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too.
@candace_9871: It's like my Mom used to say, always keep a positive pregnancy test around in case you need to ruin a man's life.
@WilliamAder: Do those "selfie sticks" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?