@Elizasoul80: "I see you've been eating whatever you want and not exercising." -Clothes
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@batkaren: [5:30AM] BRAIN: I'll just go to the bathroom, but keep my eyes closed so I don't wake up. BODY: I'll just clip my head on the door frame.
@daemonic3: Possum 911: What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing? Possum: Oh yeah
@Diversion50: I like to imagine the person who originated Head & Shoulders shampoo had really, really hairy shoulders.
@gagging: If you think marijuana doesn't kill you've obviously never read the bible. People getting stoned to death left and right.