@LizHackett: I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
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@Sassafrantz: Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt.
@JohnLyonTweets: Her: Hi hun. Atilla: [under breath] I told you not to call me that in front of the men. It might stick.
@_ElvishPresley_: me: I'd like one mcdouble please employee: sir, this is a Burger King me: ok one mcdouble please, ur majesty
@NYC_Blonde: Are people who write "prolly" rather than "probably" just lazy, completely illiterate, or do they actually think that's a word?