@LizHackett: I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
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@moose_chocolate: I routinely take 8 flights of stairs for no other reason than to avoid idle chit chat in the elevator. See, hating people can be healthy!
@theguydf: It's 2014 and somehow we still don't have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
@lilgapeach30: 3 rules for having good teeth: brush and floss twice a day, see your dentist twice a year, and keep your nose out of other peoples business.
@Fickle_Filly: You know it's time to quit smoking when you laugh at a tweet and you sound like Muttley.