@LizHackett: I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NoTheOtherJohn: [lifts $1000 apple watch to my face] Wrist computer: show me where hot dogs are.
@TheMichaelRock: Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs.
@shwebby2: British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then? Yell "STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"