@Crunch11b: I self medicate, therefore you live.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LindaInDisguise: Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say "Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."
@david8hughes: [dentist giving me a filling] Me: guh uh hag a hogreg? Dentist stops: what? Me: do you have a boyfriend?
@ThaJawn: An air horn that looks like a febreze can so you will always know when someone shits at your house
@LoveNLunchmeat: Kids, we can go to the pet expo BUT WE ARE NOT GETTING ANY ANIMALS. WE ALREADY HAVE A DOG *leaves with two lizards, a fish & a baby giraffe