@Crunch11b: I self medicate, therefore you live.
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@Karissajem: So, this woman stopped to ask me if my hair color was "supposed to look natural." My hair is purple, guys. Purple.
@NicCageMatch: I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911.
@shariv67: It puts the lotion in the basket. Then it calls the wife to make sure it's the right brand so it doesn't get the hose again.