@F5X11: I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn
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@squirrel74wkgn: You know what sucks about Karaoke? Coworkers don't appreciate the time & effort that I put into my make up or outfit before singing Madonna
@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is if you wake up in the middle of the night to pee and see that it’s only 11:30pm, you might be getting old.
@breadzeppellin: Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Love is courageous, but so is arm wrestling a bear and you don't see anyone suggesting that.