@McNevich: I send thank you cards to people that don't invite me to their weddings
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@dreamthievin: Too bad the Kardashian show couldn't be like "The Ring" and kill anyone who watches it.
@_The_Man__: wife: im pregnant me: what? im not ready to be a mother we still have petty arguments wife: im the mother me: this is what I'm talking about
@macchiatonumb: Random girl: OMG I love your UGG boots Me: No No... that's just the way my feet look