@ManiacallySound: I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it.
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@DBMaxP: According to the group of firemen in our floor's breakroom... my microwave popcorn is burnt
@Karissajem: Me: I'm quitting to go play guitar for Metallica. Boss: Wow! I wasn't aware that you even played guitar. Me: Let's not make this difficult.
@behindyourback: If you suddenly stand up and shout "IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE" you can walk out of work and not come back and no one will even ask about it.