@VerifiedDrunk: I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,
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@Wuttercuerk: I wear Lacoste shirts with the little crocodile on them because when shit goes down I want crocodiles to know that I'm on their side.
@BoogTweets: Judas: *Sips wine* Great, water again, very funny Jesus:HAHA I got you! Judas: So glad this is our last supper Jesus: what? Judas: what?
@greenteam15: My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history