@lisaxy424: I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tatsabrat: My creepy neighbour asked me if I think he's creepy. The fact that he asked through my bathroom window after my shower just made it awkward
@BradBroaddus: Can someone please invent pantyhose that don't rip? I think everyone in this bank just saw my face.
@internetluke: [talking to bouncer] Me:let me in Bouncer: not after last time Me:would a Washington convince you? Bouncer: no George Washington: c'mon man