@moist_jeff: I set up a camera in my room like in paranormal activity but it's just 8 hours of me waving & walking down imaginary stairs behind my bed.
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@VestaTot: My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed.
@murrman5: [tv interview] did you get upset? "that *beep* lied to me, she can go *beep* herself" don't do that. just curse and we will add the beeps
@juneohara65: 5 year old niece to me: What do you want to be when you grow up? Me: Let's not rush things, OK?