@moist_jeff: I set up a camera in my room like in paranormal activity but it's just 8 hours of me waving & walking down imaginary stairs behind my bed.
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Any weaknesses?" I pick fights for no reason "Can you explain?" *leans in way too close* Are we gonna have a problem?
@KyleMcDowell86: told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco
@trentistweeting: "Trent! Your only job was to prep the classroom for Diversity Day!" ME: *in full scuba gear* look, I think "diver city day" could be fun too
@MarcusTheToken: Ok I just started watching House M.D.:nn1 Does everyone gang up and beat House's other leg?n2 does a rival Token come in to challenge Omar?