@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire
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@Smug_Lemur: Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
@the_kizzle: if you meet an american who knows anything about the metric system, you have met a drug user.
@SortaBad: No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
@comer310: Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook.