@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire
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@imdaintyaf: What's the best way to dispose of a dead body? Was asking for a friend, but he was being a whiny shit about it, so now I'm asking for me.
@CPajamaShark: I've got this great joke where I kidnap people's sticker families and leave little post-it ransom notes. Adorable or horrifying? You decide
@jwoodham: Just heard a dad threaten to spank his screaming son "in front of the world." Stand your ground, kid. There's no way he has that technology.