@Dutch_50: I sharpened all my kitchen knives today. Now I can't help but slice everything as if I'm in an infomercial.
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@secondofhername: What is the difference between a girl and a pool table? You have a shot with a pool table.
@AngryRaccoon2: I bought a CD today. Now I'm waiting for my carriage to take me home, because I have laundry to do at the river and butter to churn.
@FavoritesYou: Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup? Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!
@KKAlThani: I bet whenever a cow eats a lot of grass she says to her friends "I've been eating like a cow!" and they'd laugh and moo or whatever cows do