@JulieSnark: "I shaved for this shit?" - All of us at one point in our lives.
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@LookAwayMomDad: I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status.
@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.
@KattsDogma: I like my eggs like I like my nose: runny. Wait. That's not right. I like my eggs like I like my tigers: poached. Huh? No! I like my eggs li